Breakfast in Grass Valley

Before the heat rose,
we closed windows
-while we gathered for breakfast-
in the log house kitchen.

We closed windows,
trapping the cool night air
in the log house kitchen;
drinking our coffee.

Trapping the cool night air;
singing crickets and croaking frogs,
drinking our coffee,
choosing our eggs.

Singing crickets and croaking frogs,
evening song and morning silence.
Choosing our eggs:
all different shades of brown.

Evening song and morning silence;
the kids slept outside;
all different shades of brown
heads tucked inside their sleeping bags.

The kids slept outside
while we gathered for breakfast;
heads tucked inside sleeping bags
before the heat rose.

Prompts: A big thank you to both Margo and dVerse for very fun prompts!Β  Margo prompted us to write about our vacation without naming the topic.Β  dVerse provided a very fun form: the Pantoum.


17 thoughts on “Breakfast in Grass Valley

  1. I was right there with you, Annette, before the heat rose. I enjoyed the vivid details, which made the scene come alive. A pantoum done well indeed..

  2. nice…you did really well with the form….and you set the scene very well def putting us right there….i love to listen to the crickets…matter of fact i am on the porch right now listening to them…smiles…

    i fixed your link at dverse to go to this one…it was going to last weeks….

  3. The pantoum is my hands down favourite form to write in. I have more darn fun. With almost everything I write, I give it a quick look in as a form. Using the form here allowed us to move through those moments with the family, in a comfortable, familiar, atmosphere.

  4. From the coolth of our Northern France summer, I could film the heat and the anxiety to shelter from it. I loved the rolling repetition of this – the repeated lines were so well chosen.

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